Coffee Mugs by Java Man

Ancient Coffee cup by Java Man

Other Universities just sell coffee mugs, which are made in China with slave labor and lead glazes, but the University of Brattleboro offers up ancient artifacts that the U of B Archeology Department claims to have unearthed during their scholarly field trips to the Island Park site, right here on the Connecticut River.

As a fundraiser for our shenanigans in Southern Vermont, we offer up coffee cups that our Archeology Department dug up.

We also can GUARANTEE that we can conduct an archeological dig on your property and find numerous ancient artifacts, all of which you could own. Contact rolf.parkerhoughton AT SYMBOL gmail, if you would like to explore having an archeological treasure hunt organized and conducted on your property.

We believe that these mugs were created by Java Man, or his near relatives.
Here is one example of a coffee cup that we excavated from the Island Park site in Brattleboro, at the East Brattleboro Campus.
Ancient Coffee Cup by Java Man2

Note the symbols, which almost miraculously form a cryptogram that can be translated into modern English.

One of the best things about this is that while the modern day mug bearer tries to figure out the cryptogram, they can sip their morning coffee and have a better chance of succeeding at the task before them. These coffee mugs are created by faculty members of the University of Brattleboro:

For those desiring mugs actually created by local artisans with some talent, check out these lovely mugs by Sara Meehan. The University of Brattleboro receives a modest commission from each sale. The proceeds are used to ensure that various happy shenanigans continue to be created in Southern Vermont.

$10 for each ancient clay mug.

Contact Rolf.parkerhoughton@gmail if you would like to order a specific message on your ancient mug. We can turn any short message into a cryptogram for a fee of $10.